losingit ... Congratulations on your 5 month pregnancy! Of course you are scared Dear Heart. You are a mother already of two beautiful girls. They wouldn't be anything else, now would they? They will remember this time too. Give them happy memories if you can. Their little world is changing too. They possibly will follow your lead and look to you to see if this is a happy summer they will remember, or is this the beginning of the "horrible times" they will block out and want to forget in their future.
Now relax, like Aunt LoisLane says. Breathe in... breathe out. Breathe in... breathe out. Now shake your hands. Yes, shake your hands. Shake your arms, shake it, shake it. lol There, do you feel a little better? lol
We all want a nice contented, happy mommy, with happy, contented daughters and a happy child that is waiting for your arms and your love.
You are having anxiety about many things, and rightly so.
I am sorry you have to delve into your retirement/emergency fund to survive financially right now.
I am sorry you don't have a man around to love and be loved by.
I am sorry the fantasy of someone listening to spoken or unspoken words of prayer, is just that, a fantasy. Children speaking out, asking, begging for water or food or love... they are talking to the air. It might help them to think there is someone that will magically help them, but we both know, sadly what the truth is, and that is thousands of children die every day.
This nightmare that you are going through losingit , shouldn't be happening to you or anyone for that matter.
Your JWN group is here for you. We are giving you a Great Big Group Hug Right Now. ((((((((((((((((((( losingit )))))))))))))))))))
PM me or others. It is cruel to feel all alone.
Love from LoisLane